The major reason I read this book is because of a TED talk given by the author of this book. I was really touched by one of her talk: The power of Vulnerability, and that talk really drove me to think about myself and my life.
I am a person with all kinds of fears: fear that I am not good enough, fear that I would achieve nothing in the end, fear that I will be rejected (although it always happens), fear that people will look down on me, and fear that I am not a good fit for the society. Anyways, many fears. These fears, on one hand, to a certain degree, stimulate me to improve myself all the time (even writing this article, it’s that I want to improve my writing). On the other hand, however, it deprives many joys and adventurous spirit of life. Let me give you an example of doing research. I often times find myself afraid of taking any new directions and always worrying about doing something new (even I have to). Why? Because of my vulnerability where I feel I have a great chance to fail, or what I think is piece of shit. I know these fears stop me from wholehearted living and a better me.
These fears origin from the feeling of shame, according to Brené Brown. I feel shamed when I am told I can do better, I feel shamed when I am rejected, I feel shamed when people look down to me, and I feel shamed if I am not the fit of the society. Shame is like a really bad desire that suck away all of my worthiness, and I want to do my best to fulfill it. What do I gain? It will grow bigger, and I lose myself even more. So on and so forth.
“Wholehearted living is about engaging in our lives from a place of worthiness. It means cultivating the courage, compassion, and connection to wake up in the morning and think, No matter what gets done and how much is left undone, I am enough. It’s going to bed at night thinking, Yes, I am imperfect and vulnerable and sometimes afraid, but that doesn’t change the truth that I am also brave and worthy of love and belonging.”
Some people may find this type of book boring, because it’s all about “what-to-do” if you briefly read it. For me, it is more like a self-awakening experience. It’s like writing about my own feeling and value toward myself, life, and world. I feel the “opposite of wholehearted living” is so like me. But, the first step to change is to realize what we actually think and then do something to change, right?
Actually, I really like the practices the author does when she feels bad (let me put this way). They teach me how to calm down and get refueled in a better way.
So, I would recommend this book for people who are raised in this culture but somehow feel doubted if that’s really the value of life we should establish.
BTW, the writing itself is quite good: smooth and beautiful.
To know myself
对“To know myself”的回应
《The Gifts of Imperfection》热门书评
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聆听羞耻
23有用 0无用 小英心灵说书 2012-07-14
卢小英/文 来自智慧点心坊(www.wisdomsnack.com)与脆弱相比,羞耻(shame),是一个更加让人觉得恐怖的话题。实际上光谈论这个话题就足以勾起人的羞耻感。作为一名专门研究羞耻的学者 (shame researcher),美国休斯敦大学的社会工作学教授Brené Brown常会在一些...
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不说没关系也可以
15有用 1无用 Ah鸭 2015-04-06
很长慎点——————————————————————————————最近从美国休斯敦大学的社会工作学教授Brené Brown的TED演讲:脆弱的力量(The power of vulnerability)那儿学了个新词:Vulnerability (脆弱性),说它新是因为,我一直根深蒂固地认为脆弱...
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To know myself
3有用 0无用 goldentime 2014-12-20
The major reason I read this book is because of a TED talk given by the author of this book. I was really touched by one of her talk: The power of Vul...
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相信自己值得被爱
2有用 0无用 一颗蛋黄酱 2016-04-24
当初是在TED上看见作者的演讲,再去买书来看,这是看第二遍了。 在了解到羞耻感之前,我是被羞耻感包裹着的。 这源于小时候,我的妈妈,和我说:“因为你出生是个女孩...
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可怕的自控
2有用 0无用 长腿鹿夭夭 2016-07-25
“童年的陷阱之一,就是只存在对事物的感觉却不了解原因。当理智成熟到足以了解它的来龙去脉是,内心受到的伤害却已太深。” &n...
书名: The Gifts of Imperfection
作者: Brene Brown
出版社: Hazelden
副标题: Let Go of Who You Think You're Supposed to Be and Embrace Who You Are
出版年: 2010-8-27
页数: 137
定价: USD 16.89
装帧: Paperback
ISBN: 9781592858491