本书思维导图（涵盖大部分内容）

WHAT EVERY BODY IS SAYING
1 "3F"法则
1.1 Freeze
1.2 Flight
1.3 Fight
2 各种Nonverbal Behaviors
2.1 Face
2.1.1 Male
2.1.2 Female
2.2 Neck
2.2.1 Female especially
2.3 Hands
2.3.1 Like a pendulum
3 Feet&Legs (most honest parts)
3.1 Examples
3.1.1 Gradually/suddenly shifts his feet away from u, when u two talk.
3.2 "Happy Feet"
3.2.1 因高兴etc.脚、腿的摇摆
3.2.2 Mean life is sweet
3.2.3 注意区分
过度紧张、不耐烦
3.3 “Gravity Defying”
3.4 Leg Splay
3.4.1 A territorial display
3.5 Territory Imperitive
3.6 Leg Crossing
3.6.1 display of high comfort
3.7 Shoe-play
3.7.1 during courtship
3.8 Walk Style
3.9 Foot Freeze
3.10 Foot Lock
3.10.1 discomfort
3.10.2 insecurity
3.10.3 anxious
3.11 Foot Hiding
3.11.1 discomfort about particular issue.eg. interview
3.12 机理/WHY most ?
3.12.1 人类进化史中对逃生行为本能反应。
4 Torso/Trunk
4.1 Including
4.1.1 hips
4.1.2 abdomen
4.1.3 chest
4.1.4 shoulders
4.2 机理
4.2.1 出于对躯干内关键器官（心、肝、肺）的保护
4.3 伸展/摇摆
4.3.1 对领地的宣告, keep people at a distance
4.3.2 "距离感"的突然性、微妙性
sometimes仅仅是身体的一个小角度转变 也会带来negative sentiment.eg. 夫妻/情侣之间
4.4 Ventral Denial
4.4.1 including
eyes
mouth
chest
breasts
genitals
......
4.4.2 机理
Limbic brain has an inherent need to protect them
4.4.3 表现
当对某事物厌烦，不爽..会出现Ventral Denial即背对或其倾向。
4.5 Ventral Fronting
4.5.1 Opposite of Ventral Denial
4.5.2 Show ventral sides to those we favor.eg.embrace to lover and baby.
4.6 Torso Shield
4.6.1 when unacceptable, dislike...会双手叉腰/扣上茄克外套...to protect torso.
4.7 WHY can't stomach certain topics?
4.7.1 餐桌上吵架后无食欲
4.7.2 外伤后的呕吐
4.7.3 upset时的无食欲
4.7.4 Reason
全身血液聚至心脏、肌肉以便“3F”反应->无足够血液消化食物。
4.8 U r what u wear
4.8.1 "Clothing makes the man."
4.8.2 衣着体现情绪、地位、身份、态度、兴趣、性格...
4.8.3 To college students
think carefully about ur clothing choices and messiges u r sending to others.
4.9 勿“以衣取人”
4.9.1 its culturally prescribed.
4.9.2 its easily manipulated.
4.9.3 we access clouthing to determine whether its sending a message, not to judge people.
4.10 Preening
4.10.1 身体/精神上感觉良好时
preening, grooming
4.10.2 生病/伤心时
poor grooming
reason
brain has other priorities except for preening.
4.11 Torso Splays
4.11.1 message
territorial/dorminance/disrespectful
4.11.2 in home
sign of comfort
4.11.3 don't do that in workplace
4.12 Puffing up chest
4.12.1 establish territorial dominance
4.12.2 eg.拳击、打架、吵架
4.13 Baring the torso
4.13.1 message
亮出实力(muscle)威吓对方
4.13.2 eg. 打架时脱衣服先
4.14 Breathing behavior
4.14.1 处于高压(flight/fight)紧张时呼吸急促，胸部扩张，提高。
4.14.2 limbic system被激发吸入更多氧气以防flight/fight.
4.15 Shoulder shrugs
4.15.1 full(high) shoulder shrugs
confidently support what they r saying
speaker confident/comfortable with his act.
4.15.2 only partially rise or one shoulder rises
他自己的身体对其所言都不承认，或许他所言是谎言。
4.16 Turtle Effect
4.16.1 失落/输比赛/做错事etc会脖子缩起来
4.16.2 不自信，uncomfortable
5 Arms
5.1 总则
5.1.1 机理
从祖先开始直立，arms开始free，protect us from survial-->so, arms 能直观地反应行为。
5.1.2 Gravity defying
happy/comfortable
5.1.3 下垂
消极，伤心时双臂下垂以备保护自己或放在胸部(eg.吵架时)
5.2 Arms behind the back
5.2.1 im of higher status
5.2.2 dont come neer me,im not to be touched
5.2.3 pensive or thonking pose
5.3 Territory behaviors
5.3.1 双臂伸展/肘部的支撑etc来展示“领地权”
confident/high-status
5.3.2 亦可通过spreading objects,eg.brifecase, cup,purse on the table.
5.3.3 arms akimbo
展示领地，自己的权威eg.police
powerful territory display to establish dominance/to communicate there r "issues"
双手叉腰时大拇指方向分两种
虎口正对着腰，拇指向背后（常规）
手掌心正对着腰，拇指向下：more quisitive, less authoritarian
5.4 Hooding Effect
5.4.1 双手交叉于头部
comfort/dominance
5.5 双臂展开，指尖触于桌上
5.5.1 territory display of confidence/dominance
5.6 坐于椅，一手臂搭旁边空椅上
5.6.1 confident/comfortable
5.7 手臂上的饰物(包括纹身)
5.7.1 反应人的地位、身份、经历、生活方式、状态etc.
5.7.2 包括所穿制服
Billboards
5.8 Arms as conduits of affection
5.8.1 embrace
给孩子拥抱，让其觉得在一个安全舒适环境中长大
传递友好，热情etc.
某些场合拥抱并不合适，要会判断
5.8.2 touch
6 Hands and Fingers
6.1 手如何影响 人际之间的感知
6.1.1 有效的手部行为增加我们的可信性/说服力
6.1.2 隐藏你的手会导致消极影响--keep them visible
6.1.3 power of a handshake
力度
时间
dont recommend hand jousting to creat dominance,提升优势的方法有很多，eg.violation of space or eye-gaze
不同文化，地区不一样，要提前了解eg.穆斯林喜欢hand-holding
6.1.4 避免用hand gestures 冒犯他人
finger pointing
the most offensive gestures
snapping fingers
rude
feel u may used to call ur dog!
6.1.5 勿在人前使用preening hehaviors including hands
dismissiveness
6.1.6 手的物理面貌
手的面貌可看出人的职业eg.manual labor, guitar player
干净/肮脏，指甲整齐/ratty， 长指甲(men)
缺少阳刚之气
odd
咬指甲被视为紧张/insecurity
6.1.7 manage sweaty hands
sweaty hands
excessively warm
nervous
under stress
......
握手时sweaty hands会让对方觉得u r lying
6.2 reading nonverbals of hands
6.2.1 hand steepling
十指尖相对应触
most powerful highconfidence tell
6.2.2 hand-wringing
十指紧握相扣
low confidence/stressed/concerned
6.2.3 thumb displays
thumb sticking out of pocket
high-confidence display
high status
双手交叉相扣，大拇指up
positive thoughts
双手交叉相扣， 大拇指down(disappear)
less emphasis or emotious turn negative
thumb in pocket, 其余4指在裤兜外面
low status/confidence
双手拇指均在裤兜内， 其余8指均在两边裤兜外
insecurity/social discomfort
genital framing
powerful dominance display, often with yong males/females during the courtship years.
6.2.4 low confidence/stress
frozen hands
stroking ur fingers across palm/rubbing ur hand together
pacify anxiety/nervousness
neck touching
lower-than-normal confidence/relieving stress
microgesture/microexpress of hands
7 Face
7.1 eyes
7.1.1 pupils
dilation
comfort
constriction
discomfort/stress
机理
面对威胁时瞳孔收缩以更清晰地对焦（像相机光圈），反之扩张
7.1.2 眼周肌肉
威胁时眼周肌收缩->eyes close
7.1.3 squint
angry
7.1.4 eye blocking
7.1.5 eye flash
flashbulb eyes
7.1.6 eye-gaze
communicate love/interest/hate by brain
谈话时眼镜gaze away并不是rudeness or personal rejectiion.
面试时眼镜要聚焦在与你说话那人那里
7.1.7 eye-blink/eye-flutter
blink rate increase when
aroused
troubled
nervous
concerned
not only due to a liar!
7.1.8 look askance
distrustful
unconvinced
7.2 mouth
7.2.1 real&fake smile
7.2.2 lips
7.2.3 lips purse
disagreement
thinking of possible alternative
7.2.4 sneer
disrespect
i care little for ur thoughts
7.2.5 tongue displays
舔嘴唇
pacifying behavior
tongue-jutting
做坏事被逮住
7.3 其他
7.3.1 furrowed forehead
discomfort
anxiety
7.3.2 nose flare
7.3.3 nail-biting
stress
insecurity
discomfort
7.3.4 facial blushing
violation of person's space
做坏事被逮住
喜欢某人又不想让她知道
7.3.5 facial blanching(pale)
机理
表面血管通道输送血液至更大的肌肉来escape or attack
7.3.6 noses crinkling
dislike
disgust
8 Detecting Deception
8.1 谎言对人、社会的危害
8.2 无论对谁而言，谎言是难以被侦测、发现的
8.3 为何谎言难以发现？
8.3.1 "practice makes perfect"
8.3.2 lying is a "tool for social surrial"
8.4 方法
8.4.1 总则
当一个人在说谎时比说真话时更加discomfortable
8.4.2 在你decting decption时， 要建立一个comfort zone
勿
violate people's space
act suspicious
a procecutorial tone
因为将会导致消极回报
要
detecting deception并非是鉴别dishonesty， 而是关于你如何观察和提问
收集肢体语言信息很重要
你的角色应是中立的，去extent possible而非suspicious
多问细节，更多的细节eg. i dont understand...? could u tell me about...?
8.4.3 defining signs of comfort
交谈时，移走两人中间的物体
身体closer, openly
share more torso, inside of arms legs
相互comfortable的两人，肢体语言synchrony（mirroring/leaning each other）
8.4.4 defining signs of discomfort
能表明discomfort的肢体语言并不能绝对表面deception
移走两人中间的物体，物体会掩饰肢体语言
站着比坐着会获得更多的肢体语言
交谈时，touch可感知/影响对方
face
嘴唇的quiver&squirm
grimace&contempt
闭眼，眨眼，双手叉腰
8.4.5 detecting pacifiers 12 法则
get a clear view
不要让物体挡住你们
expect some pacifying behaviors
expect initial nervousness
本能的紧张是很正常的
让对方先放松
一个好的interviewer会在正式 问题开始前先让对方放松
establish a baseline
ask, pause, and observe
keep the person u r interviewing focused
chatter is not truth
interviewee chatter并不意味着他说的是truth，或许是提前编好。
stress in/out
被问到guity knowledge, interviewee's两步 本能反应
distancing behaviors
缩脚
jaw收紧
pacifying behaviors
neck touching
nose stroking
isolate the cause of the stress
紧张/习惯导致以上两步反应，但并不一定deception
dont be so hasty to assume deception
pacifiers say so much
pacifiers行为可运用至任何 interpersonal interaction中
8.4.6 Subtopic
8.5 两个重点
8.5.1 synchrony
注意他说的与其肢体语言是否同步
8.5.2 emphasis
liar 一般不会有emphasis，而诚实者会在limbic system作用下去emphasis
分类
verbally
voice
pitch
tone
repetition
nonverbally
hand gestures
fingers
eyebrows raising
eye widening
8.6 detecting deception的具体肢体语言
8.6.1 lack of emphasis in hand behaviors
8.6.2 rogatory position
即祈祷手势：双手于腰，掌心向上
means the person wants to be believed/accepted
8.6.3 territorial display&deception
spread out
confident
comfortable
less space
uncomfortable
lying
......
8.6.4 shoulder shrugs
liar's shrug is abnormal.
eg. only one comes up/shoulder rise nearly to ears and head seems to dissappear
8.7 conclusion
8.7.1 there is no "Pinocchio Effect" when it comes to deception
8.7.2 meathods: a person who is
confortable/disconfortable
synchrony
emphasis
8.7.3 dont label sb. a liar with limited information/one observation
9 Final Thoughts
9.1 what to look for?
9.2 where to look?

ps:感谢Peter老师推荐这本书~~~
pss:个人整理仅供分享。