Eight things this book will help you achieve.
1、get out of a mental rut,think new thoughts,acquire new visions,discover new ambitions.
2、make friends quickly and easily
3、Increase your popularity
4、Win people to your way of thinking
5、Increase your influence,your prestige,your ability to get things done
6、Handle complaints,avoid arguments,keep your humman contacts smooth and pleasant
7、Become a better speaker,a more entertaining conversationalist
8、Arouse enthusiasm among your associates
Nine suggestions on how to get the most out of this book.
1、If you wish to get the most out of this book,there is one indispensable requirement,
one essential infinitely more important than any rule or technique.Unless you have this
one fundamental requisite,a thousand rules on how to study will avail little,And if you do
Have this cardinal endowment,then you can achieve wonders without reading any suggestions
For getting the most out of a book.
What is this magic requirement?Just this: a deep desire to learn,a vigorous determination to
Increase your ability to deal with people .
How can you develop such an urge?By constantly reminding yourself how important these principle are to you.Picture to yourself how their mastery will aid you in leading a richer,fuller,happier and more fulfilling life.Say to yourself over and over:”My popularity ,my happiness and sense of worth depend to no small extent upon my skill in dealing with people.”
2、Read each chapter rapidly at first to get a bird’s-eye view of it.You will probably be tempted then to rush on to the next one.But don’t-unless you are reading merely for entertainment.But if you are reading because you want to increase your skill in human relations,then go back and reread each chapter thoroughly.In the long run ,this will mean saving time and getting results.
3、Stop frequently in your reading to think over what you are reading.Ask yourself just how and when you can apply each suggestion.
4、Read with a crayon,pencil,pen,magic marker or highlighter in your hand.When you come across a suggestion tha you feel you can use,draw a line beside it. If it is a four-star suggestion,then underscore every sentence or highlight it,or mark it with”*****.”Marking and underscoring a book makes it more interesting,and far easier to review rapidly.
5、I knew a woman who had been office manager for a large insurance concern for fifteen years.Every month,she read all the insurance contracts her company had issued that month.Yes,she read many of the same contracts over month after month,year after year.Why? Because experience had taught her that was the only way she could keep their provisions clearly in mind.
I once spent almost two years writing a book on public speaking and yet I found I had to keep
Going back over it from time to time in order to remember what I had written in my own book.The rapidity with which we forget is astonishing.
So,If you want to get a real,lasting benefit out of this book,don’t imagine that skimming through it once will suffice,After reading it thoroughly ,you ought to spend a few hours reviewing it every month,Keep it on your desk in front of you every day.Glance through it often.
Keep constantly impressing yourself with the rich possibilities for improvement that still lie in the
offing.Remember that the use of these principles can be made habitual only by a constant and vigorous campaign of review and application.There is no other way.
6、Bernard Shaw once remarked :”if you teach a man anything,he will never learn.”Shaw was right.Learning is an active process.We learn by doing.So,if you desire to master the principle you are studying in this book,do something about them.Apply these rules at every opportunity.If you don’t you will forget them quickly.Only knowledge that is used sticks in your mind.
You will probably find it difficult to apply these suggestions all the time.I know because I wrote the book,and yet frequently I found it difficult to apply everything I advocated.For example,when you are displeased,it is much easier to criticize and condemn than it is to try to understand the other person’s viewpoint.It is frequently easier to find fault than to find praise.It is more natural to talk about what you want than to talk about what the other person wants.And so on,as you read this book,remember that you are not merely trying to acquire information.
You are attempting to form new habits.Ah yes,you are attempting a new way of life.That will require time and persistence and daily application.
So refer to these pages often.Regard this as a working handbook on human relations;and whenever you are confronted with some specific problem such as handling a child ,winning your spouse to your way of thinking,or satisfying an irritated customer-hesitate about doing the natural thing,the impulsive thing.This is usually wrong.Instead,turn to these pages and review the paragraph you have underscored.Then try new ways and watch them achieve magic for you.
7、Offer your spouse,your child or some business associate a dime or a dollar every time he or she catches you violating a certain principle.Make a lively game out of mastering these rules.
8、The president of an important Wall Street bank once described,in a talk before one of my classes,a highly efficient system he used for self-improvement.
This man had little formal schooling;yet he had become one of the most important financiers in America,and he confessed that he owed most of his success to the constant application of his homemade system.This is what he does, I’ll put it in his own words as accurately as I can remember.
“For years I have kept an engagement book showing all the appointments I had during the day.My family never made any plans for me on Saturday night,for the family knew that I devoted a part of each Saturday evening to the illuminating process of self-examination and review and appraisal.After dinner I went off by myself,opened my engagement book,and thought over all the interviews,discussions and meetings that had taken place during the week.I ask myself.
‘’What mistakes did I make that time?””What did I do that was right-and in what way could I have improved my performance?””What lessons can I learn from that experience?”
I often found that this weekly review made me very unhappy.I was frequently astonished at my own blunders.
Of course,as the years passed,these blunders become less frequent,Sometimes I was inclined to pat myself on the back a little after one of these sessions.
This system of self-analysis,self-education,continued year after year,did more for me than other one thing I have ever attempted
It helped me improve my ability to make decisions- and it aided me enormously in all my contacts with people,I cannot recommend it foo highly.
Why not use a similar system to check up on your application of the principle discussed in this book?If you do,two things will result.
First,you will find yourself engaged in an educational process that is both intriguing and priceless.
Second,you will find that your ability to meet and deal with people will grow enormously.
9 You will find at the end of this book several blank pages on which you should record your triumphs in the application of these principle.Be specific.Give names,dates,results.Keeping such a record will inspire you to greater efforts.and how fascinating these entries will be when you chance upon them some evening years from now!
In order to get the most out of this book;
a.Develop a deep,driving desire to master the principle of human relations.
b.Read each chapter twice before on to the next one.
c.As you read,stop frequently to ask yourself how you can apply each suggestion.
d.Underscore each important idea.
e.Review this book each month.
f.Apply these principles at every opportunity.Use this volume as a working handbook to help you solve your daily problems.
g.Make a lively game out of your learning by offering some friend a dime or a dollar every time he or she catches you violating one of these principle.
h.Check up each week on the progress you are making.Ask yourself what mistakes you have made,what improvement,what lessons you have learned for the future.
i.Keep notes in the back of this book showing how and when you have applied these principles.
1.If you want to gather honey,don’t kick over the beehive.
Principle 1 Don’t criticize,condemn or complain.
2.The big secret of dealing with people
Some of the things most people want include:
(1)health and the preservation of life
(2)Food
(3)Sleep
(4)Money and the things money will buy
(5)Life in the hereafter
(6)Sexual gratification
(7)The well-being of our children
(8)A feeling of importance
Part one Fundamental techniques in handling people
Principle 1 Don’t criticize,condemn or complain.
Principle 2 Give honest and sincere appreciation
Principle 3 Arouse in the other person an eager want.
Part two Six ways to make people like you.
Principle 1 Become genuinely interested in other people.
Principle 2 Smile.
Principle 3 Remember that a person’s name is to that person the sweetest and most important sound in any language.
Principle 4 Be a good listener.Encourage others to talk about themselves.
Principle 5 Talk in terms of the other person’s interests.
Principle 5 Make the other person feel important-and do it sincerely.
Part three How to win people to you way of thinking
Principle 1 The only way to get the best of an argument is to avoid it.
Principle 2 Show respect for the others person’s opinions.
Principle 3 if you are wrong,admit it quickly and emphatically.
Principle 4 Begin in a friendly way.
Principle 5 Get the other person saying “yes,yes” immediately.
Principle 6 Let the other person do a great deal of talking.
Principle 7 Let the other person feel that the idea is his or hers.
Principle 8 Try honestly to see things from the other person’s point of view.
Principle 9 Be sympathetic with the other person’s ideas and desires.
Principle 10 Appeal to the nobler motives.
Principle 11 Dramatize your ideas.
Principle 12 Throw down a challenge.
Part four Be a leader:How to change people without giving offense or arousing resentment.
A leader’s job often includes changing your people’s attitudes and behavior.
Some suggestions to accomplish this:
Principle 1 Begin with praise and honest appreciation.
Principle 2 Call attention to people’s mistake indirectly.
Principle 3 Talk about your own mistakes before criticizing the other person.
Principle 4 Ask questions instead of giving direct orders.
Principle 5 Let the other save face.
Principle 6 Praise the slightest improvement and praise every improvement.Be “hearty in your approbation and lavish in your praise.”
Principle 7 Give the other person a fine reputation to live up to.
Principle 8 Use encouragement.Make the fault seem easy to correct.
Principle 9 Make the other person happy about doing the thing you suggest.
如何赢得他人和影响他人,部分精彩语句摘录。
《如何赢得友谊及影响他人》热门书评
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一本彻头彻尾的伪书
12有用 7无用 湛庐文化 2007-08-16
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温和睿智的教科书
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5有用 1无用 iWoo 2005-10-12
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这本书告诉你 要给予他人想要的东西
4有用 4无用 charlotte 2010-05-17
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做事先做人
4有用 4无用 橘坚持 2007-07-02
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